On VIsion and Passion

At our last training, God hit me with a startling question. "What is your Vision?" Something i never thought of before. I was always content to follow someone else's vision. So when hit with the idea that as a leader i needed something to call someone to. And up till now, i was content to leave ISaiah 61 and the GReat COmmission as my vision. But this ultimately left me stranded in vaguity and without direction. But one thing still seems to call to me from the corners. A vision. The thing that God has specifically made me to do. My mission and what that looks like. What I now see as one of the most intimate relations to God: to have something on His heart specifically branded onto yours. I have been seeking this for the past few days here, and God has given me a peace in the uncertainty of it all. What He has shown me in the definite however, is passion. That burning force that is at the base of all I do in ministry. the passions that shape all my values. I dont really know how to describe it, but this is all i can say, and i hope it makes sense. It all revolves around seeing the Bride walk in the holiness in which she was made to walk.
1.) a desire to see truth claimed, proclaimed and lived by
2.) A desire to walk the members of the body through pain
3.) to carry the burdens of the weak and weary
most of these passions only barely make sense in their wording, but i cant find the words to express what i feel so strongly. But then the question still remains, what do i do with this? How does this all work together? Where will this take me? WHat does this all look like? and at the same time, a desire to just throw the questions into the dust and walk without knowing, just trusting as it comes. So now i find myself being torn between the questions and the actions. do i go forth or do i ask? when i word it like that, the prefereable choice is obivious, but i still find myself torn. questions that i want to answer, but that in truth is the chain that keeps me from walking, isnt it? That an unanswered question, not knowing who, what, when, where, why or which one for how long can hinder and bind, if not completely debilitate. So i stand here, having said, acknowledged, confessed and understood everything that i've just written, and find myself stuck, at "where do i go from here?" how to stop asking the question is really the only answer i want right now.