ready (revised)

What is "ready"?

Is it having the materials together?
Understanding how things work,
or the internal depths of the soul?
Is it knowing where you came from
or where youre going?
Is it having a plan,
Or a roadmap to the end?
When are we ready?

Are we ready now?
The call has been sounded,

a call to arms.
Our eyes have been opened,
our spirits revived.

Our lives redeemed,

citizenship trasnferred.

We are at war,

whether we like it or not.

whether we acknowledge it or not.

When are we ready

To fight

and reclaim?

Perhaps when we stop asking that stupid question,

take what He's given us,

take His weapons

and take the field,

and let ourselves be ready.

I don't know what to call this so I'm just gonna run with it.

In our society, we as people tend to fight tooth and nail every day for our share. to make sure that we don't get lost in obscurity and that we receive all that we deserve/want/need/whatever else floats your boat here. We do this by making ourselves the center of attention, at any time by any means. whether its by being hosptiable, being smart, being caring, or being the best at something (all examples from my life) we never cease striving to make sure that others see we are there and that we are good enough, that we deserve something: love, affection, time, money, blessings, etc... So there is a whole generation out there, having been taught to grab the bull by the horns, to take the pearl at any cost, even if its from somone else's oyster, and to make sure that THEY are happy, who are desparately trying to make themselves known.

But the opposite is the only thing that works. When I finally fell down, realized that I had nothing, was nothing without Christ, i finally was able to see and recieve what He had been storing up for me. Working at His pace, not mine. saying "what am i ready for You to show me" instead of "Show me everything You've got". Realizing that I can't accomplish anything by my hands, so trying to get something done is entirely fruitless. Realizing that knowledge without revelation of the Spirit is empty words, and passion without the Spirit's wisdom is recklessness. That i dont need to accomplish something the Lord has already done for me. i must simply obey Him and be there when He calls. That is pretty much all I am responsible for. Suddenly my job is less complicated, and i can finally rest. I like resting.

Nothing

Nothing

is what i know.

Nothing

is what i can do.

Nothing

is all that i have.

Nothing

is all that i can bring to You.

Nothing

is all that i am without You.

Nothing

is what You want to hide from me.

Nothing

is the ill-will You hold for me.

Nothing

is the harm You will allow to befall me.

Nothing

is what i should worry about.

Nothing

is what i should fear.

Nothing

is what i have to sweat for.

So why do i try in myself at all,

when Nothing

is where i'll get without You?

New Eyes, New Ears

New eyes, new ears

new perceptions to perceive

new thoughts

new feelings

new desire, new passion

new thirst for the Lord,

the Ancient of Days,

seen with new eyes.

Old fears, old doubts

old attacks on new life.

old tactics turned on a new warrior.

old contempt for the enemy

flames to new life

new perceptions attacked by old fears

new passions plagued by old doubts

but new truth shines through,

and a new day dawns.

Just a thought

What would it be like if the body of Christ stopped trying to be godly people and just let themselves be what God made them? I mean, I understand that we all have bondage that prevents that and we fight the battle for our minds daily to pick up our cross, say no to sin and yes to Christ, but still. i wasted so much time trying to be compassionate, trying to be pastoral, trying to find something to teach. the moment i stopped trying to be who God made me and just let myself be His creation, His sheep, His beloved child, my heart began to swell and weep for the world, i began to understand what it truly means to shepherd a flock, and i finally had a lesson. i didnt just have one, i couldnt keep myself from bringing it to the table. I was finally able to write again and the words just poured out of me. I cant really begin to describe it. but it only happened once i stopped trying to be what I already was. What would happen if the whole body, the church, the bride of Christ, decided to stop acting like the things they're not, ceased striving to become what they already are, and let God be who He is and reflect Himslef through them in the way they were made to?

Just for the record

Jesus is awesome. That's all. i just needed to say it. There you go.

Confessions of a Sheep (revised)

Confessions of a Sheep

I crawl through the valley.

The shadows dance

about me like rats.

The thunder sounds

the lightning crashes,

freeing fanged faces into light.

A storm is coming

I've had enough.

I want to go back.

My old field wasn't that bad.

Its grass was poor,

its shade was scarce,

and its waters were brackish,

but at least it wasn't this:

cold shadows, hungry snickers,

furious flashes against

the callous crevice.

The pasture on the other side

can't be worth all of this.

Can it?

I turn to run,

and see Him there,

my Shepherd.

A soft rebuke

from mahogany eyes,

reminds me that

He is there.

"No." His whisper

silences the chaos.

"We're not going back".

He faces the skies

with confident gaze.

He knows this place;

that the darkness is brief

the storm is passing,

and the hungry grins

cannot touch me

while He is here.

He wouldn't have brought me otherwise,

or my brother, and sister, before me,

if where we're going wasn't worth it;

if we weren't going to make it

to the green, lush pastures

Beside the quiet, pure waters.

the shade beneath

the mighty oaks and graceful willows,

before the majestic mountains.

He knows the way,

and He knows I'm afraid.

and now I remember:

that He won't let me fall,

that when I can't go on any longer,

He will carry me Himself,

With strong arms and stout legs.

He has done it before.

How could I have forgotten?

That I am safe with Him?

That His staff is my comfort,

and His rod my joy?

That He is my Shepherd,

and I am in want for nothing?

Lacrimo Mundus

one day

God said to me,

"Come and see

what I have to show you.

Come and see

your heart."

He showed me a place

a vast expanse

jagged and cold

the ground with open chasms,

gaping wounds in the earth.

as i bit back tears,

He said, "Come and see."

He brought me to a river

clean and pure,

its waters refreshing and cool,

pouring forth from beyond

cleasnsing the ground,

the land becoming lush,

the chasms now

lakes and streams

of the healing water.

then He said

"Come and see

what I have to show you.

Come and see

the world around you."

and He showed me.

children afraid to go to school,

afraid to go home,

whose fathers remind them

of bruises and booze,

whose mothers are cold and distant.

where husband and wife despise one another

and destroy the child in their spite

i saw the tenderhearted spurned

for their kindness

the leaders chastised

for their strength

the creative cursed

for their art

and the practical burned

for their efficiency.

as bitter tears rent

my heart,

He said to me,

"Now, come and see

what I truly want to show you.

Come and see

the whole world."

the hearts of few

became many to my eyes.

hundereds

to thousands

to billions

sons and daughters

raped and beaten

brothers and sisters

neglected and starved

fathers and mothers

dying

their hearts becoming stone

before having a chance to beat.

A whole world

afraid, crying, wounded

drowing in their sea

of tears and blood

crying out

to be delivered

my Lord is silent

as His tears fall,

each one tearing at His face

each one filled with pain and sorrow.

A deluge of greif.

He looks at me

with His tear stained eyes,

glorious and majestic in their suffering

and says "Go

spread the news to the affilcted

bind up the broken hearts

set the captives free

release the prisoners

greive for those who mourn

proclaim the year of My favor

and the day of My vengence."

so i gather

my sword and sheild.

i don my armor and

take to the field

where the battle rages below.

i was afraid to fight before,

but for the tears of my Father,

the tears of the hurting

the tears of the world

i will

Wow....

My first day back online and... wow, what a realization. There are areas of my life, old messages from old freinds and as i read their messages, God like... He doesnt shout it at me, but its a voice, not still or small, but quiet and firm, Like He's going to say it once and he's not going to raise His voice... saying cleary "that part of your life is no over." Which is funny cause i just got done writing to a friend who didnt know that i was fasting from the internet, saying how God brings seasons of our lives to an ende and brings us into new seasons. i told her not to mourn but rejoice, but at this time i couldnt help crying. Must be that mercy thing. But now more than ever i am aware of how God has been moving me and i think im getting glimpses of where i might be going, but thats not for me to say, or even to completely know... yet.

I'm Back!

Hey everybody!

My fast is now broken, and it has been an eye opener! Just to see just how often both television and the internet can be used by the devil and how much my life revovled around them. Praise Jesus for revelation and transformation!!!!!!

so anyway, for anyone just starting to read this, as most of you probably are, here i am going to publish some of my thoughts, ideas, opinions, questions and poetry. it wouldnty be me if i left that last one out. so enjoy and God bless!